1 YEAR

It’s been one year since I got the text that Dad was gone! It still hurts to write that. It still feels like he might be coming back. I miss him so much. I spent the day talking to mom and my siblings and I watched the funeral stories that all of us siblings told and tried to remember all the awesome things he did and was. I wish he was still here planning our next trip and bringing mom out for the next Utah get away. Life isn’t fair. I’m still not sure why it was His time! I cried all month. Every time I drove by the cemetery. Or thought about how last year at this time we were praying, last year we were calling an emergency family meeting, last year we all fasted and dad got better. He got off the oxygen. He got over the blood clot. Mom got to visit him! and she got to see him again when she dropped off her valentine. All the times I tried to call and he never answered. . . and then he was gone. We thought he was better and moving to a facility and we could come visit as he got better and better and then the Dr. calls and his heart stopped and that’s it.

It hurts when I stop and feel all the feels and take the time to miss him but that’s what I did on Wednesday. I put being a mom and wife on the back burner and I was just a kid and a sibling for the day. Ben was super aware and let me have my day and gave me a framed photo, Erica took me to lunch, Abbie and Kristin sent treats, Katie Call sent a box of love.

I miss you Dad